If you are preparing to execute a Canadian college radio campaign, the resources in this article will save you between 4-12 hours of your time.

I’m going to walk you through my campaign step-by-step to show you what I did right and what I did wrong.

You’ll end up with a tactical strategy for planning your own campaign and a better understanding of how stuff like this works…

BUT…

If there’s one major takeaway you need to grasp from everything you’re about to read it’s this…

My campaign failed because I was LAZY.

Now, I don’t mean I prepared this thing while sitting on my couch eating cheezies and watching Breaking Bad..

I worked hard on it… I spent hours writing the emails, preparing my onesheet, labelling the CDs, finding contact info, and even making friendship bracelets (more on that later).

I spent about $250 dollars, and probably 20 hours of my own time preparing and executing my campaign. Even at minimum wage, that’s a total of $450: about 2 years worth of income for most indie musicians!

(That’s a joke… sort of.)

In spite of all my hard work, as I looked back at the campaign (which yielded almost zero results) I realized the major reason I failed was because I was a BUSY IDIOT. I worked hard on all the wrong things because I was too lazy to do the right things.

So, this is your chance to succeed where I failed. I’m going to give you the contact info with submission guidelines of 33 Canadian college radio stations that I spent hours collecting, a helpful template to use for your letter, a checklist, and 33 follow-up templates WITH email addresses to music directors, all in one easy download.

Because I’ve done all the boring and time-consuming work of finding addresses, contact names, and creating an email template and checklist for you, you will have the opportunity to use your time doing the important stuff properly.

And you won’t have any excuses for making these mistakes!

Let’s get started.

What I Did Right

I’m going to be pretty hard on myself here, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the positives in every situation.

After all, even though my campaign ended up being an epic failure with almost no results, I learned a great deal from the experience and I’m happy that I’ll be able to help my readers learn the same lessons without wasting all that time and money.

So, here’s what I think I did right:

1. I prepared and mailed my CD properly.

I made sure to follow the instructions given by each radio station: ie. I didn’t send physical copies to colleges that only requested digital copies. (The 33 colleges in the download all accept Physical CDs ONLY so you won’t have to worry about that.

I also made sure to remove the shrink wrap from my professionally-manufactured CD and I added a sticky note to the cover with the 2 radio-ready songs I wanted the programmers to listen to first.

2. I prepared a professional-looking, well-written ONESHEET which I printed and included in the envelope.

You really need a onesheet, whether you’re doing a campaign right now or not. All the stations ask for this, not to mention almost every other industry contact will probably need a onesheet from you at some point. I just had an article printed in a newspaper about an upcoming show which was pretty much a direct transcription of my onesheet.

Have a look at mine HERE. The writeup is brief, but explains the record with a little backstory about me in relation to the music. I’ve also got all my contact information, some pics, and I’ve highlighted the songs I want them to listen to first with bold text.

If you aren’t a writer, become one or hire someone to do this properly for you on Fiverr or something. Think of a semi-interesting backstory to your record and write it up.

3. I included a cover letter briefly explaining my music.

This isn’t rocket science. I’ve included my letter template in your download package to save you some time. You just need to date it, put your contact info in, and tell them who you are and what you sound like in a short paragraph. Then print it, sign it, and put it in the letter with the CD and onesheet.

4. I tried to differentiate myself from the pack.
When you are connecting with potential business contacts, whether in-person or otherwise, you need to stand out from everybody else somehow. In person, a good way to do this is to remember something from the conversation and then highlight it to the person when you follow up.

For example, if I’m talking to a potential client or employer somewhere and the small-talk leads to a brief exchange about their favorite type of wine— Pinot Noir—then I’m going to make sure I mention a great Pinot Noir in my followup email the next day. This will help the person to remember who I am and also make our relationship seem stronger than it would otherwise.

For my campaign, I decided I would string up 33 friendship bracelets with wooden beads and hematite (which allegedly helps improve relationships.) I included the bracelets in the envelopes, explained the purpose of the bracelet in the letter, and then I referenced myself as “the bracelet guy” in my follow up headline.

The idea was that I would do something different and interesting and have a common thread to refer back to in my follow-up.

I don’t think it was terrible idea—a bit silly, perhaps, but not terrible.

Good idea or not, I realized afterwards that it didn’t work because of all the stuff I did wrong…

What I Did Wrong

Now let’s get to the critique. I’m going to show you all the stuff a busy idiot like myself DOESN’T DO because it’s not as easy as pointing and clicking on the internet and stringing beads for 20 hours.

Remember, I’m removing your excuses not to do this because I’ve done all the idiot work for you. It’s your music career, it’s worth pushing yourself out of your comfort zone a little teensy-weensy bit to get results. If you don’t, someone else will. Period.

So here’s everything I didn’t do (and everything you SHOULD do!)

1. I didn’t call in advance to establish a professional relationship with the music directors.

What do you think radio promoters and publicists and record labels do when they want a record to get played on a college radio station? Do you think they send out a bunch of CDs and bracelets in envelopes to random people they’ve never talked to before?

Think about it like this. If you hired a publicist and found out that she did that, would you be happy about the 10K you paid her to get your tunes on the radio? I would rip my own shirt off and bite my forearm if that happened to me.

No, I’d expect her to dig into her rolodex for her most solid contacts at the stations, call them up, and demand a favour.

Your competition is strong and you are competing with many other people who are doing this. So you need to do it too! Pick up the phone, get the music director on the line, introduce yourself, and ask if there’s anything you can do to increase the chances of getting your record some airplay.

I don’t mean ask for a summary of the submission guidelines page… ASK FOR ADVICE! It’s called flattery and it works. Make the music director feel like they are the authority, that they know how shit works and you need and want their help.

I know… actually talking to people? Wtf? But don’t worry, by the time you call you’re going to have all these other steps ready as well so you’ll know what to talk about and what to ask.

2. I didn’t research which programs would be interested in my style of music.

The music director has a lot to deal with, maintaining the library, adding new tunes, organizing programs, and all sorts of other business stuff. Often, they also have classes and jobs to work as well. They are busy.

The people who run programs on the radio station however, are probably less busy (since they have time to run a radio show). These people are also the ones who can play a big part in getting you airplay.

So, you can be a dumbass like me and go straight to the music director with your record. In one case, the director wrote me that he loved my album but explained that the station doesn’t play my style of music.

Now doesn’t that make me look like I’ve got my shit together? I certainly don’t look like a lazy idiot who didn’t do any research…

As an alternative, you can look at the stations schedule, find shows that play your style of music, and email or call the hosts. Tell them who you are and that you think your record would be a great fit for the show if they’re looking for some fresh material. If you’re feeling really ambitious, LISTEN to the show first and then mention that you thought of this program because they played “X artist” last week and you sound similar to them. And tell them you enjoyed their show. Again, flattery! It works.

3. I didn’t have a tour booked in the area and I didn’t have anything newsworthy or interesting.

“Oh, you aren’t currently touring and this album came out 6 months ago? Cool I’ll be sure to get it on the air ASAP!”

You will never hear this sentence in real life. People are obsessed with finding the next new thing. If you aren’t doing anything new, or at the least coming to town to put on a show, why should the station play your song instead of Modest Mouse? Because your song is SOO GOOD??

Make sure you have something planned before you start a college radio campaign. It really isn’t worth the time or money to do it otherwise…

Believe me.

4. I epic-failed the follow up.

Since I had worked so hard getting the campaign together, I decided that the bulk of the work was over and I could just ride it out and wait for my record to burn up the charts.

One month after I mailed the letters, I prepared my follow up emails and sent them out on friday afternoon at about 4pm. (An excellent time to do business, wouldn’t you agree?)

Why not actually call the station during their posted tracking hours? Because I’d already done SOOO MUCH work and that wasn’t necessary. They’d get my record, listen to it, and throw it into heavy rotation immediately, I figured.

So, by the time those emails got read, they’d probably been buried by a weekend’s worth of other emails and were looked at by a busy music director sometime on monday morning… Yeah, not a great plan for execution.

In spite of my idiocy, a few stations did actually write me back eventually (I’ll share the results of my campaign below). Some were positive responses, some negative, some hadn’t received the album yet.

And then, I didn’t even bother to write those people back to say thanks for the message!

This is a classless mistake that I attribute to my complete and utter disappointment in myself for wasting all the time and money on a campaign that was doomed to fail.

Ok, one more mistake is all I can take.

5. I didn’t consider what the purpose of a college radio campaign was for my music career.

Now that you’ve learned about what to do and what not to do with your campaign, it’s time to sit down and consider what you think a college radio campaign will actually do for you.

The reason I did my campaign was that I overheard someone else’s plan to do one at a music industry event and decided I ought to as well. This is not a good enough reason.

Think about who your potential fans are… What are they doing? Are they college-age people? How do they discover music? Do they even listen to college radio?

You need to be honest with yourself and ask these questions whether you’re planning a radio campaign or not. If you can’t see any return on the investment of your time and money, then find some other way to spend it.

Buy a guitar pedal, hire a creative coach, put it towards a van or something that will help get you closer to your goals and your fans.

My Results

Here’s the final results of my campaign based on the responses I received. I’m sharing them with you so you can see my failure in all its glory.

The following cost me about $500 for materials and time spent:

A. Added to library and made available to programmers
Never followed up to thank them

B. Received and up for review, asked to follow up in a few days.
I didn’t.

C. Haven’t seen it, will let me know when it’s in. Requested a voice-over or more discs.
I never followed up

D. Response: “we passed.”
Don’t worry about stuff like this. Don’t get mad or hurt or be offended. Remember, it’s your own fault for not researching the station beforehand.

E. Music director wrote that he really liked the record, but the station plays predominantly a different genre than the music I play. The record is available for DJs to check out.
Never followed up. Another example of me being dumb. Not doing research ahead of time or spending time properly.

F. Album received and added. No spins yet.
Never followed up.

G. Received and up for review.
Never followed up.

H. Added, light rotation.
Never followed up to say thank you. OUCH

I. Received but doesn’t fit with their main format.
my mistake again. never followed up.

Your Package

OK, if you’ve read all that and you still want to do a Canadian college radio campaign, then I’m actually really happy that I’m able to help you out. It will be nice to have some good come out of my blunders.

To get your time-saving resource package which includes the contact info, letter template, checklist, and follow-up emails with addresses, all you have to do is click the button:

And, before you go, I’d like to ask you If you could share, like, or tweet this article using the buttons below. It would really help me out and I’d be eternally grateful to all of your ancestors.

Thanks for reading and I really hope this helps you out in your career.

P.S. Leave me a comment if you have any helpful info to share, or if you disagree with something I said. Obviously I don’t know everything

It’s not a good saying…but it happens to work out in this situation.

In spite of not making the top 5 in the CBC searchlight contest, I am smitten by how many people voted for me (I counted at least 1000 votes just with the clicks I was able to track).

For a few moments last night, I considered quitting music forever and moving to Brazil to become an entomologist…

I imagined a quiet life among the insects—catching butterflies, snaring tarantulas, praying with mantises—but when I woke up to the sound of a mosquito, I killed it by slapping my hand against my forehead and changed my mind.

I am not at all disappointed, but, quite the contrary, am excited  at how many of you wonderful people took the time to click through the web of links to vote, allowed me to harass your email and facebook inboxes, and retweeted and shared the links with your own friends and followers.

A favorite quote of mine from the Bhagavad Gita is something that I often return to when feeling disheartened or discouraged by the future of my music “career” and it always centers me back to the real reason why I’m making music and doing this:

Be intent on action,
not on the fruits of action;
avoid attraction to the fruits
and attachment to inaction!

Perform actions, firm in discipline,
relinquishing attachment;
be impartial to failure and success—
this equanimity is called discipline. (2. v, 47/48)

What this means is that I consider myself privileged to be able to actually spend time writing music, recording music, and sharing it live and online with others. A “big break” with great fame or financial success may or may not come—either way I am not necessarily entitled to those “fruits.”

I’m working at this to create something valuable for somebody in the world—maybe lots of somebodies; maybe only a few somebodies; and maybe even only for me—certainly not to buy 10,000 pairs of shoes, to put trophies on walls, or to pay my landlord the full amount of rent when it’s due.

This contest gave me the chance to see that there are already more of you out there than I expected who really enjoy what I do and are willing to help out with your own time and energy, and I’m so incredibly inspired and encouraged by that.

So, really… honestly… emphatically… sincerely: THANK YOU!

-Matt

But her hairbrush, skin cream, toothbrush, mascara, lipstick, concealer, nail polish, foundation, eyeliner, and glasses case take up 93.3% of the bathroom counter.

I forget everything she tells me to remember and she remembers everything I want her to forget.

Oh yeah, and I smack my lips together when I talk, but she watches Jersey Shore (and likes it.)

The movies want you to believe that Love is a magical force that flies through the air and goes up your nose and sits in your chest making you feel like you just ate a chocolate cake ALL THE TIME.

But that’s only half-true…

What they don’t tell you is this:

Love is a habit.

It’s like biting your fingernails…

It started sometime in the past, now you do it without thinking, and if you do it too much.. it hurts.

But it hurts WORSE if you don’t do it enough…

And if you stop doing it… the habit will go away.

So here’s my advice:

Think of Love as a habit (unless you’re a nun.) — Click to Tweet

And put the toilet seat down.

Commitments pile up on top  of responsibilities, get soaked in expectations, and then are buried under demands.

Most of us spend too much time unenjoying our lives, and that’s just the way it is. It’s OK, we can get by…

But sometimes when I’m bogged down in the mire of repetition and tedium, I like to think of a story I read once.

This story happened a long time ago, and it’s about a man who loved cherries…

I mean, he LOVED CHERRIES!

In those days, you couldn’t get cherries all year round, (you actually had to wait until they grew from the trees in the summer. Crazy huh?)

So, every year in July when the cherries were ready to eat and every vendor in the marketplace sold them for next to nothing, the man would buy a pound of cherries on his way home from work.

He would walk home without having a single bite, wash them off, lay them out on the table so they were ready to eat…

And then he would put on his glasses before he ate any cherries.

When his wife asked him why he did this, he explained that he put on his glasses so that the cherries looked bigger, juicier, and more tempting to him. This ensured that he would have the most possible enjoyment out of the cherries.

When you’re having fun, put your glasses on so you can have the most fun possible.

And likewise, when you’re stuck in a rut and life doesn’t look all that appealing to you, take your glasses off, put them in the drawer, and try not to squint.

The cherries will come again soon…

Not only did I survive a mayan apocalypse, graduate, make an album, and discover my life’s calling…

But I also managed to listen to a lot of great music!

The 5 albums on this list are the ones that had the greatest impact on my life this year; they are not necessarily the best albums of the year, or the only albums that had an impact on me.

I just feel that these ones had the most to do with my growth as an artist and a person over the year.

Here goes:

1. Wounded Heart of America: The Songs of Tom Russell — Various Artists (mp3 version)

My most recent discovery… I missed the boat BIG TIME.

I hadn’t heard of Tom Russell before because he’s considered a “songwriter’s songwriter” and because I’m an idiot. I had randomly put this on my Rdio collection based on some “sounds like” suggestion and decided to listen to it while exercising. (Yes, I exercise but that’s for another blog post).

So I’m in the gym sort of half-listening to the album, which starts off with Johnny Cash singing a song about veterans, so I’m wondering what exactly it is…

A few minutes later I’m on the treadmill and “Gallo Del Cielo” comes on and suddenly I’m holding back tears… I had to pretend I was coughing so nobody would see what a sensitive poet (or loser) I am.

And I wasn’t even listening intently to the lyrics! The melody and the performance and the instruments had me overwhelmed with emotion. And before you make fun of me, I assure you that doesn’t happen often

So I went home and “discovered” Tom Russell, who is a f&#* genius. His mastery of the art of songwriting confirmed to me that people really just want to hear a good story and it totally reinvigorated my approach to my own music.

This record is a collection of Russell songs sung by Johnny Cash, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Dave Van Ronk, Ramblin’ Jack Elliott, and others. It’s a wonderful collection, but Joe Ely’s version of “Gallo Del Cielo” is worth the price in itself.

An absolutely transcendent performance: one of the greatest pieces of live music recordings I have ever heard in my life.

2. Bon Iver — Bon Iver (mp3 version)

I used to be a pretty cynical guy and I had heard Bon Iver’s name bandied about by many people whom I would have negatively labeled “hipsters” in my old life. While working to change my approach to things, I decided to give this record a go and I was completely enthralled.

I couldn’t (and still can’t) understand a word the strange falsetto voice was saying, but I didn’t need to. The rich layered production sound, brilliant production and arrangements, and unique and authentic approach had me hooked.

I was able to rediscover an appreciation for musical arrangement and the wonders of what you can do in a studio with inventiveness, imagination, and a fearless attitude.

I also discovered that the best way to listen to this album is while driving through the mountains of British Columbia on a greyhound bus in the summertime looking out at a blue sky.

3. I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive — Steve Earle

Steve Earle’s records, particularly his post-rehab records, have been a big inspiration to my own music. When I went into the studio to make my own record, this one was getting a lot of airplay at my house and I knew I wanted to create a sound that echoed it.

Production sound aside, there are some wonderful songs on here. “Gulf of Mexico” is a heartbreaking ballad about the BP oil spill, “Waiting on the sky” is a song you could never get tired of playing… the list goes on.

I’m also partial to this record because I saw Steve in concert twice this year (my concert review) and I waited in line afterwards and got to meet him. I was a bumbling idiot of course because he’s one of my heroes, and I don’t remember anything I said, but it was super cool to shake his hand and thank him for existing.

4. Tempest — Bob Dylan (mp3 version)

It should be clear to all readers of this website that I’m a Bob Dylan fan. I’m not the obsessed lunatic that I was 5 years ago, but I still buy every record he makes and go see him whenever he comes to Vancouver… and as luck would have it, he came to Vancouver and made a new record this year.

Aside from “Duquesne Whistle,” Tempest is like a BIG novel. You need enough energy to get started, you have to enter into the world it presents, and you have to start thinking in the language of the work. At the heart of this album is a 15 minute song about the Titanic with 44 verses. It’s a brilliant masterpiece, but it ain’t exactly radio friendly.

I got a lot of inspiration out of Tempest. This, combined with the Tom Russell discovery, made me realize that it’s OK to tell stories, that you don’t always have to be a brilliant lyrical poet because there is plenty of room for epic and historical poetry in songwriting too.

Plus… I can’t think of many other albums that give you more bang for your buck than this one. There’s a lot in here.

5. Junkie’s Bank Account — Matt Lowen

I couldn’t with good conscience make a list with “changed my life” in the title without including my own first-born child. This is the record I listened to the most this year. As part of the recording process, I wanted to make sure it’s perfect so I listened to it probably 100+ times all the way through.

I learned so much from making this album, not to mention dedicating myself to spreading it’s gospel around to the world. I’m a better listener of music, marketer of music, performer of music, and lover of music because I made this record.

It will always remain one of the most important and amazing achievements of my life (even when I make new albums in the future, ya never forget your first time .

I want to thank everyone who has shared in the music with me in the past year…

I’m picking up good vibrations!

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
For auld lang syne.

I was just about to finish my degree in English Literature, yet, I hadn’t really read a book for months.

True, I had been busy making my album and tying up loose ends at school, but something seemed drastically wrong with this…

I had been a voracious reader since I was a kid — What was wrong with me?

Then I realized what had happened… I was becoming a grown-up. I was “too busy” to learn new things because I already knew everything. I was a college gradamuate, right?

WRONG.

You know in Dr. Seuss’s “Grinch Who Stole Christmas” when his heart grows 3 sizes at the end? That was me right at that moment. I quit watching TV and fell back in love with the joy and wonder of daily reading and learning. I’m absolutely amazed at how much I’ve managed to grow as a person in 2012 and I know that reading had almost everything to do with it.

These are 5 books that changed my life in 2012:

1. Mastery — Robert Greene

I’ve had to expand my knowledge base to a lot of different things this year: Web design, Audio Engineering, Video Editing, Marketing. It’s all been really enlightening and I love learning new skills; however, I had been pushing the craft of music into the background.

It’s my greatest skill and I’ve worked the most on it, so, I thought, I can spend less time on that while I absorb all these new skills.

Well, recently I read this book (actually at press time I’m not quite finished) and it has COMPLETELY changed my tune (pun intended.) I have rededicated myself to the pleasure of HARD WORK with music and I have adopted a holistic approach to all of my other learnings.

If there’s something you are really good at or you really love doing, I’m willing to bet you could become GREAT at it. That’s what this book is about.

2. A New Earth — Eckhart Tolle

I’ve read my share of spiritual self-help books and actually I’ve learned a lot from many of them. Somewhere along the way though, I became overtly cynical (and miserable) and refused to open my mind enough to even try giving a book like this a chance.

But, while browsing some blog somewhere (I can’t remember what it was) I discovered a great insight about something that had been bothering me and the author cited “A New Earth” as the reference for it.

Then by chance (or was it?) I discovered this book for $1.00 at a book sale and decided to give it a go.

WOW.

Some of the most profound insights into religion, society, and life experience I’ve ever read are contained in this book. A weight lifted off my shoulders as I read it. The best part is, all of the ideas are incredibly practical and you can start applying to your own life right away. Once you become aware of  what is contained in this book, you can’t really go back to your old self.

3. Never Eat Alone — Keith Ferrazzi

In the music industry (and pretty much every industry) your network determines your level of success.

I certainly didn’t consider myself a socialite before reading this book, and, to be honest, I still have a long way to go in the socializing and networking aspect of my life; however…

This is an amazing book! I read it thoroughly, I took extensive notes, and I’ll probably re-read it next year again. This is the BIBLE of networking. The core message of the book is, if you want to be successful, you have to give to people. You want to create a network of people who you can help and who can help you. Plus, it’s jam-packed with amazing tips, tricks and strategies for how to do this… AND everything in there can be applied on the personal level as well.

You will make more friends and become better friends with the friends you have already if you read this book.

I can’t think of a single person who wouldn’t find this information helpful to their lives.

4. I Will Teach You To Be Rich — Ramit Sethi

This is a good personal finance book. It isn’t the only personal finance book, nor is it the only good personal finance book.

Ramit is not for everybody. He comes off as a bit harsh… but he’s brilliant. His target market is the 20-35 year old who needs a better grasp on their personal finances. He also offers very expensive online courses on building a business on the side and finding your dream job.

Up until this year, I kept my head in the sand about my personal financial situations like a drunk ostrich…

For whatever reason I discovered this book and it was really helpful to me. I set up an automated banking system, I got rid of a bunch of unnecessary bank fees, I negotiated lower credit-card APRs.

Yeah, no big deal, BUT for the old me, this would have been unheard of!

This book is a well-written, practical guide to personal finance and gives useful advice including negotiating scripts, what credit-cards to get, what bank accounts to get, etc. I could have got more out of it if I was American (as all of this applies to US banks) but I still learned a ton and, more importantly, I finally understood that I need to know this stuff.

5. Songwriting Without Boundaries — Pat Pattison

OK, I’m getting into specific skills here and if you don’t write, this book isn’t for you.

But if you do any creative writing, be it songwriting, fiction, non-fiction, etc. I highly recommend “Songwriting Without Boundaries.”

It’s a book of writing exercises—4 different 14-day programs. It’s ultra-specific and tells you exactly what to do every day, which makes it a lot easier to put the time in and do the work.

I’ve read all of Pat’s books and I think he’s a genius. He teaches songwriting at Berklee music college. At the heart of his teaching (and this book) is an emphasis on “object” writing, that is, verb-heavy language that creates vivid imagery because it employs all 7 senses. This is best explained by Chekhov’s quote about writing: “Don’t tell me the mirror is broken; show me the glint of moonlight on the broken glass.”

The book has 2 months of daily writing exercises. You just roll out of bed and do what it tells you… Awesome!

I’ve been through the book twice now, and I’ve written tens of thousands of words because of this book. I also have created a habit of getting up and writing, which is the most-important and often the most-difficult thing for an aspiring writer to do.

In Closing

So, that’s my list. These are all in the practical/self-help genre and are not the only books I read this year by far. My literature list and album list are still upcoming.

I have read every one of these books myself and I personally approve and recommend each book.

If you do decide to pick up one or all of them, please use the links I’ve provided here in the article because I get a small percentage of the sale if you do.

I hope you can start growing your own list of life-changing books for 2013 right now. If you want to recommend any other books to me, please leave a message in the comments below so I can get it on my reading list.

Oh and if you think you know anyone who would be interested in any of the books, share with the handy-dandy buttons down there!

All the best in 2013!

Sorry dog lovers, but 3 mega-authors have weighed in on the subject, and the verdict is in.

Stephen King, William S. Burroughs, Charles Bukowski all agree:

Cats are BY FAR the more interesting animal.

But it’s not for the reasons you think.

In fact, their arguments may surprise you…

Keep reading.

Why cats are more interesting — 3 new perspectives

A cat is a wonderful animal.

They purr. They sit on you. They’re soft.

Are those not the ideal attributes you would look for in a companion? (According to my eHarmony profile they are!)

Of course, a cat is NOT ONLY a pleasant object…

Ernest Hemingway (who had dozens of pet cats in his home in Florida) observed that cats always tell the truth:

“A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not.” — Click to Tweet

Jean Cocteau, a legendary director, claimed to love cats because they were the “visible soul” of his home…

Edgar Allan Poe wrote stories with a cat sitting on his shoulder…

Writer Joyce Carol Oates, claimed she was inspired to create because of her cat:

“I write so much because my cat sits on my lap. She purrs so I don’t want to get up. She’s so much more calming than my husband.”

And If you wanted to be friends with Mark Twain, all you had to do was like Cats! (His words, not mine.)

That’s a pretty good who’s-who of cat lovers with reasons to like cats, but they are just pointing out the obvious.

These next writers will give you a whole new perspective on the fascinating characters of cats.

Cats are gangsters — Stephen King

I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse

In Pet Semetary, one of the scariest books (and movies) ever, Stephen King brings a dead cat back to life.

And of course, the cat returns as an embodiment of pure evil and we all know how that turns out.

But, in another passage of the book, King makes an astute observation that should change your perspective on cats:

“Cats were the gangsters of the animal world, living outside the law and often dying there. There were a great many of them who never grew old by the fire.”

Now, obviously a cat can’t use a Tommy Gun (no thumbs) or bootleg liquor, but this image of cat gangland isn’t all that far off from the truth.

Consider the feral cat…

They live in groups of 3-25 cats called Clowders, roaming around fighting, mating, and digging through garbage. Just like human gangsters…

Except some of these groups are world famous!

There’s the Canadian parliament colony where a big group of these outlaws live, roaming around freely.

Not to mention, the numerous gangs vying for territory at the Roman Colosseum, and even a group of badasses in Jerusalem.

I’m thinking animated movie directed by Martin Scorsese…

Cats are psychics — William S. Burroughs

These aren’t the mice you’re looking for

In his book “The Cat Inside,” Burroughs describes his theory on the supernatural powers of cats:

“Evidence indicates that cats were first tamed in Egypt. The Egyptians stored grain, which attracted rodents, which attracted cats…

I don’t think this is accurate. It is certainly not the whole story. Cats didn’t start as mousers. Weasels and snakes and dogs are more efficient as rodent-control agents. I postulate that cats started as psychic companions, as Familiars, and have never deviated from this function.”

His theory actually has a lot going for it because the psychic power of cats is well-documented.

In Ancient Egypt, although cats were NOT actually worshipped as gods, if you killed a cat—accidentally or intentionally—the punishment was death!

That seems pretty extreme for an animal that JUST kills rats… doesn’t it?

The ancient Celts believed Cats were magical guardians of the doorways between dimensions.

(I know my cat is the guardian of the doorway between the kitchen and the patio)

Even the islamic prophet Mahomet loved cats: he cut off the sleeve of his coat so the cat wouldn’t have to wake up.

Today, modern folklore and psuedo-science suggests that cats have a heightened ability to detect changes in atmospheric pressure, that is…

They know when it’s going to rain WITHOUT the weather channel!

If only they could talk…

Cats are Teachers — Charles Bukowski 

I cat seem to concentrate right meow…

In his poem, “My Cats” Bukowski writes,

“I study these / creatures / they are my / teachers.”

Now, a teacher may not seem like an interesting way to look at a cat, but consider this:

Many ancient religions (zoroastrians, babylonians among them) believed that cats are evolved souls, or higher consciousnesses sent to earth to be companions and guides to humans.

They believed cats are omniscient (all-knowing) but the catch is, of course, they can’t talk so they can’t influence us.

Bukowski claims we can fight stress and live forever by learning from cats:

“If you’re feeling bad, you just look at the cats, you’ll feel better, because they know that everything is, just as it is…They’re saviors…If you have a hundred cats, you’ll live ten times longer than if you have ten. Someday this will be discovered, and people will have a thousand cats and live forever. It’s truly ridiculous.”

So next time you’re feeling blue, or if your doctor has bad news about something, just get a couple cats and you’re all good!

The more cats you have, the longer you live — Click to Tweet

Well, there you go. Proof that cats are more interesting than dogs WITH sources!

If you disagree, tell me about it in the comments. I’m willing to consider the possibility that I’m wrong.

And if you know someone who will disagree (I know you do!) then please share with your friends using the buttons below.

I wanted to share a song I like with you…

but it turns out I have a bit of practicing to do with my camera.

This should make you laugh or at least cringe with embarrassment for me.

And for the love of god, if you have any tips or useful strategies for talking to a camera post them in the comments and help me!

I’ll share a few of my favorites:

“To turn one’s tongue in one’s mouth seven times.” — (think before you speak)

“Unhappiness is good for something.” — (Every cloud has a silver lining)

“Two bosses capsize the boat.” — (too many cooks spoil the broth

“There’s more than one donkey named Martin at the fair.” — (There’s plenty of fish in the sea)

“Sing to a donkey, he will fart to you.” — (The dog bites the hand that feeds it)

I don’t go to the fair often, but now I know not to sing around Martin!

I’m going to unplug, turn off the TV and stay off of social media and news websites today. I don’t need details, in spite of the natural morbid curiosity we all feel. The inevitable media frenzy which will happen for the next 2 weeks about this thing makes me sick as well.

It’s exploitative to follow up a tragic massacre like this with specific details about the event and the shooter. Yes, everybody wants to know all about it, but do we really need to know what gun he used, what high school he went to, what he did for work, etc.

The answer, for me, is no.

I feel that nothing meaningful can be learned from or gained from running over this again and again, so I’m out…

I’m going to avoid following the story as best I can.

Not because I want a blissful ignorance where I can exist in my own world of butterflies and rainbows, but because I know the media can only provide sensationalism and details

I need to think of the “how” and  ”why” for myself…

How can I live my own life meaningfully in the face of infinite meaningless cruelty and pain in the world?

My deepest condolences and heartfelt empathy goes out to everyone who will suffer in this world today.

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering — Nietzsche

–Matt